Please pause

As I have been experiencing technical difficulties.

I spent Monday through Friday of last week on a school field trip to New York. I took a ton of pictures and had a spectacular time. There will be multiple posts about the trip in the days to come, but I wanted to update so my 3 readers wouldn't run away due to lack of posting.

Until next time!!

April Showers

Can only mean one thing: a wedding!

We had a couples' shower for my brother and his fiancee' this afternoon over at my aunt's house. Our family was there for the most part, except for my uncle John and his family who live in Mississippi. This post is mostly for them so they can see the photos of all the fun we had :)

Wes and Cameon opening their gifts from John & Jenny and their beautiful babies!

The whole crew: Johnathan, me, Caitlin, Wes, Cameon and Emily. I think we're looking good!

The happy couple and their festive leis :)

Wesley's friend Zain is in to visit. He lives in Canada. Neither of those statements are false.

This event would not be complete (or possible) without my mom. We were some pretty cute hostesses ;)

The next time you hear from me will be when I return from NEW YORK on Friday (so it's going to be Saturday before I wake up enough to write it all here for you and show you the pictures). I'm so excited I may not even sleep tonight!! Hoping you all have a GREAT week!!

A Much-Needed (Spring) Break

My day at work yesterday was bittersweet at best. The school district where I work spent Thursday and Friday issuing notices to teachers who were being let go as part of a county-wide Reduction In Force (RIF). All day, most of the younger teachers sat around, waiting on the phone to ring with an invitation to the office and a letter of notification. Painfully, I watched people I have truly enjoyed working with make that walk to the office and return with the papers.

Fortunately, I did not have to endure that process yesterday. However, I don't find myself at ease in the aftermath, either. I'm continuing to struggle with this idea that people can do everything they can in a given situation and it won't be enough. We can be hopeful that the budget won't be as bad, or that the jobs may open again, but the bottom line is that people in my school are paying the price for poor leadership way above the district level.

I have to admit, I'm thankful that Friday started our Spring Break, and I'm off to New York on field trip with students Monday through Friday of this week. It's a much-needed break from the day to day at work and I've never been further north than Washington, DC, so needless to say I'm excited. I'm hoping to clear my mind and just enjoy the sites and sounds of The City.

This weekend I am hosting a shower for my brother and his fiancee. There will be photos soon! This break is going to be good for me :)

Accomplishments

I don't usually take to the blog to talk much about my personal accomplishments (surprised?). However, there are a few I would like to share here because I think I need to be more positive in terms of what I can achieve when I try :)

1. The yearbook was "final-ed" on time! Yippee!

2. I may actually finish on the upswing of yearbook money-wise. This is HUGE for our program, let me tell you :)

3. I have been accepted to attend a Summer Institute through the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) called Crafting Freedom. The Institute is in Chapel Hill, so it was a no-brainer to apply! I'm excited about being in the area for 6 days and hoping to see friends while I'm there (that's June 23-28 if you're interested).

4. Today at our Spring yearbook workshop, I was honored with the Most Outstanding First Year Adviser award. Rest assured I will be acquiring a frame for that certificate!

It's the little things, I know. But don't we all need the little pick-me-ups every now and then? We have to work to find the sunlight sometimes, but it's so pretty when we do :)

From My Journal

Monday, April 4, 2011

This morning I need to write. I need to feel my way through some things and figure out a way to cope. Most of this pain is not mine; in fact, none of it is. And yet I'm feeling it. I'm finding myself questioning so much of what I believe. I don't even know how to begin to tackle these things that are affecting the people I love, but I want so desperately to help them heal.

My best friend from college, Erin, who has loved me through my own struggles, lost a baby this week. When I spoke to her last night I felt shock, and today I grieve for her and her loss. I wanted to find the right words but all I could come up with was "I'm so sorry" and it doesn't feel like enough. I talked to my mom about it and she says, "it's not you; it's just life."

But why?
The age old question rears its ugly head: why do bad things happen to good people?

I actually took a course on this at UNC when I was completing my religious studies minor. The word we use in that field of study is theodicy, which sounds like The Odyssey, and the two have a lot in common. Theodicy seeks to understand how a God who is believed to be benevolent, omnipotent and omnipresent can allow the existence of evil in the world.

When I took the course in college, my faith was being shaped by my involvement with a campus organization and my growing relationship with Johnathan. I was becoming the woman I am today, and it was both an incredibly trying and beautiful time. But I can't shake the feeling that I explored the concept of theodicy for other reasons. I wanted to understand this question and somehow formulate a right answer. I want to move forward with my life knowing there is an explanation when life takes a turn for the worse.

The hard truth, however, is this: there isn't a right answer for why people suffer. In fact, there isn't an answer at all. I hate to say it but maybe it really is just life. I haven't found much comfort in the cold fact that life happens in unfortunate ways to both me and the people I love. Where I do find solace is in the embrace of my husband, the smile of my mother and the laughter of my closest friends. They center me; they help me find my way back when I've closed myself off.

I do not know where any of us go from here. We each must continue to wrestle with our own perspectives on theodicy. We each have to seek our own truth, find our own way, and know that love will always lead us home.