Tuesday, March 13, 2012

SOLSC: Advice to a younger me

Today I have been home sick with a cold that aggravated my persistent asthma (yeah, most people grow out of asthma, but not me). My doctor suggested that I take today to rest and push lots of fluids. So in short I got assigned to the couch to read books and listen to music, two things I rarely get to do!

I was listening to a new album by Darren Hayes, someone I have adored for many, many years. You may recognize him as the frontman for Savage Garden from the 90s. Anyway, Darren has gone on to produce independent albums and while they are practically unknown productions in the US, the UK and Australia simply adore him, as do I. There's a track on his latest album, Secret Codes and Battleships, called Roses. It's a story about living your life in a way that you can be proud at the end. There are so many good lines that would work as advice, which got me to thinking about what I would tell a younger version of me knowing what I know now. So I made a list...

7 Things I would tell a younger me

1. You cannot place the blame on yourself for things beyond your control. This includes your parents' divorce and things that happen to friends and family members that you did not directly cause. 

2. Protect your heart and your mind from undue influences. You might think that youth group is cool but those people will hurt you while they teach you about love. The biggest lesson you will learn from that experience is that people make mistakes and some places, including some churches, like to punish rather than forgive or redeem.

3. You are doing the right thing by focusing on school, your grades, and your college dreams. Don't let your lack of popularity keep you from your goals.

4. Yes, your friends will have boyfriends before you. Yes, you will have one of your own and yes, he will deceive you. It may be inadvertent; he will say he loves you (and he might, for a while) but ultimately you will not escape heartbreak. Pick yourself up, more love comes in the future and it's the kind you've always wanted.

5. Try as many different classes, groups and activities in college as you can. You'll find some that fit and some that don't. Singing in that praise band in college will give you memories forever and teach you a thing or two about relationships in the process. Get tickets to football, basketball, blank canvas; go to Dance Marathon, rush Franklin Street. Make as many memories as you can, because you only get one life and you need to live it to its fullest.

6. Pay attention to that quiet boy in your group of friends from home when you're in college. He has a good heart, a sweet disposition and is just right for you. Take your time and trust your heart; he'll help you put it back together. 

7. Finally, pass no judgment on anyone until you know them. Yes, you're gun shy in relationships and yes, people you love will still hurt you. But a moment of love or a lifetime of friendship means so much more when you have perspective to appreciate it.

What would you tell a younger you? Is there any advice you wish someone had given you earlier in life?


Anita Ferreri said...

older and wiser for sure! Thanks for sharing some deep reflection on life...from someone who is really pretty young...at least from my perspective!

Ruth said...

I really liked reading this--and there is a lot I'd tell my younger self!

Stephanie McCabe said...

I'd tell myself you're never fully dressed without a smile!!

(I love that song!) Hope you feel better --TO-morrow! :)