Wednesday, November 3, 2010

NaNoWriMo and a Rant

So I've taken the plunge and am participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and I got out of the gate pretty strong on November 1. But, I haven't written since. My story has stalled, and I'm only in the exposition! I'm frustrated.

In fact, I think frustrated sums up the day. My workplace is really tense right now (and has been for a couple of weeks). I don't know what's going on, and I don't think I want to know. What I am aware of is the constant pressure that I'm being watched and evaluated on the way I do everything, including breathe :( What's so sad is that breathing is all I want to do...

Sigh. The lack of logic befuddles me. Today was a tough day, and this is where I'm channeling my energy. I think I'm even more frustrated because the good days are becoming the minority, and I don't want to become disenchanted with teaching. I don't want to be one of those rookies who gets burned out and can't go the distance and make it past 5 years. But then again, I can't come home exhausted everyday from worry and anxiety. I can't cultivate healthy relationships with those feelings bottled up everyday. I cannot go to work crying in the mornings because I may be just a little late.

I'm tense. I'm afraid we are about to have something of a witch hunt on our hands and it isn't going to be pretty. And I don't want any part of it.

And I've gotten away from my original topic: NaNoWriMo. At any rate, I'm giving it my best shot, both with writing a novel and getting through each school day. Let's hope that I'm successful with at least one of them.

2 comments:

boxofchocolates29 said...

come talk to me tomorrow and tell me what's going on. your post seems sort of like a call for help, and i'm worried about you.

;)

Amanda S said...

I'm not there, and I know every school is different, but do you think these new assessment tools may have anything to do with the tension? They are soooo ridiculously lengthy, even an IEP is not 30 pages long, and could very easily be taken or used the wrong way. I've found people kind of reluctant to talk about them at school.

Either way, I hope things get better. You are a busy woman, so be sure to take time for yourself. I'll be thinking about you. :)